Thoughts on Modern Feminism

💘 Modern feminism has created more problems than good for women: These days, most women can't focus on their family and children, istead, they have to "drop their kids off" (a very telling expression) at various institutions. This dynamic has been driven by capitalism and a drive for economic growth, not by "caring about women's rights": The more there are people that work, the greater the economic growth, consumption rate etc.

As far as capitalism and the modern "unlimited growth on a limited planet" mentality (the mentality of a cancer cell) is concerned, a non-working woman is a deadweight. So they encourage women to work alongside with men covering this up with slogans such as "empowerment", "liberation" and "women's rights". Meanwhile the future generation, the children, can be conditioned and brainwashed since the earliest age by teachers and supervisors of the state into what the state wants the future generation to be like!

Derogatory Stereotypes about Russian Women should not be acceptable

Promotion of derogatory stereotypes about Russian women (or women of any other nation) should not be seen as funny or acceptable!

Honestly? This is DISGUSTING! 😡 Apart from the obvious fact that the slogan on this T-shirt implies that women of a certain nation are difficult, bad, unpleasant, etc., which is, in itself, racist and sexist, when it comes to Russian (and other post-Soviet) women in particular, to be accurate, this slogan should, instead, look something like "I am a husband of a Russian woman, therefore, I am a spoiled and entitled dude with the mentality of a slave-owner!"  

From their earliest teenage years, Russian women (as well as women in other post-Soviet countries like Belarus and the Ukraine), are conditioned and pressured by their society of origin into being the catering, self-sacrificing, servants of men.

These women have grown up in the atmosphere that, in the most men-favouring and women-enslaving way possible, mixes exploitative "equality" with twisted "traditionalism": As tribute to "equality", these women are expected to have demanding, professional careers, with which they should fully provide for themselves. Indeed, Russian women often end up working in more complex, demanding, and higher-paying jobs than do their male counterparts: More women than men in Russia are doctors; there are many female engineers and computer programmers, and the Western colleagues have always been surprised at just how many female scientists there are in Russia! But at the same time, despite their actual independence and self-sufficiency, Russian women are also subjected to the twisted, contrived oppressive "traditionalism": This means that in addition to working long hours in demanding careers, these women are also expected-- fully and single-handedly and without any (or with little) help from their male partner,--to take care of all the housework and childcare responsibilities: to cook, wash, clean, educate and entertain their children, to solve the issues that arise at their child's school or kindergarten, etc. And that's not all. Another "traditional" responsibility on top of everything else that is expected of women in these societies is to always look attractive in the process! Staying skinny, always wearing perfect makeup, strutting in a mini skirt and in six-inch stiletto heels even on black ice in wintertime, all just to please a man, who is, for no real reason or merit, viewed as the sole meaning of a woman's life!  

Do you think life can't get any worse for a woman by this point? 

There is still some room: 

Because there is this artificial, fabricated "traditionalism" taking place in these post-Soviet societies, a man is supposed to be made to feel superior in every way as compared to a woman; something that, given all that we now know, he, frankly, simply is not. So, by now, it should not come as any surprise, that it constitutes a woman's additional responsibility to artificially create this sense of superiority in a man at the expense of a woman's own self-worth: Around a man, a woman is expected to act silly and incompetent,  making sure that a man thinks that all the smart decisions and solutions are always his, and not hers (this is literally a common advice for women in Russian society "Make all the right, intelligent decisions yourself but make a man believe that these decisions has been his idea). So, despite what the reality may be, a "real woman" should make her man feel great, strong, knowledgeable, and simply a genius as compared to his woman! (Yes, even if she is a doctor and he is a garbage truck driver!)

Why would a woman even want to enslave herself through marriage in such a society?

Because the goal of a woman's life is believed to be a man, or , more specifically, a marriage to a man. Without it, a woman is often seen as incomplete and defective, she is (direct quote) an "incomplete person of lower quality", regardless of all the success and impressive achievements that she may have in other all areas of her life, such as in her career. Without this pressure on a woman to marry or else forever be seen as defective, the pervasive psychological pressure that is extreme in Russian and other post-soviet societies, no woman (and no human being in general) would probably subject themselves to such a voluntary enslavement.   

So, having been psychologically coerced by society, these women are led to jump through hoops just to please men in the hopes of getting married to one. 

And now, going back to this self-important-looking guy and the slogan on the T-shirts that he is trying to push: Being married to such over-accommodating women who, unfortunately, have been brainwashed to be of the opinion that they, as women, must be all and do all for a man, while all he should do in turn, is just, well, exist, being married to such an over-accommodating woman must be a real ordeal! 

And let's face it: Most western men who are purposely looking specifically for Russian women, on some level, expect exactly that: a voiceless (non-feminist!), supermodel-looking servant for all their needs! A woman who is clueless in the new environment and language, and so is utterly dependant upon her Western master; who doesn't know her rights and has no one to turn to and nowhere to go no matter what her Western master does. A woman who can be sexually objectified and insulted and who won't even know that what is happening is supposed to be humiliating! Who has been so psychologically oppressed that unlike her Western counterpart, she won't know and recognize abuse when it stares her in the face. 

So that these men, who ordered themselves such an obedient wife-servant from abroad can then pose with these T-shirts looking tough while the said Russian woman is crawling on her knees and washing and rubbing the floor under their feet!

P.S. Speaking about being unaware and, as a result, not recognizing subtle put-downs and insults: This very picture above, which proved me to write such a long essay above was actually proudly shared by a Russian woman who thought that the phrase "I'm married to a Russian woman. Noting scares me!" implied that being married to a Russian woman is such a positive and uplifting experience that it inspires bravery and fearlessness in men; obviously though, to any English-speaker, this kind of construction means the exact opposite: Marriage to a Russian woman is supposedly such a challenge that nothing can scare a man after such an ordeal anymore. This phrase is used in many situations and always has this meaning, implying great difficulty, a challenge "I have three children, so nothing scares me!" "I have two boys so nothing scares me!" (Tough in these cases its use is at least justifiable, as opposed to when it is directed at over-accommodating, self-sacrificing Russian women)

Our Societal Expectations of People's Online Behaviour Should Become More Realistic

Our Societal Expectations of People's Online Behaviour Need a Reality Check! 

For modern people their online life is almost as ever-present and constant as their physical life, yet while people are understood and accepted to sometimes tan in a bikini and wear beautiful lingerie, as well as party and relax with a beer in their material life, they are expected to portray themselves as forever-professionally-dressed-and-walking-only-in-a-straight line when it comes to their virtual, online presence.

Is this fair? Is this realistic? Is it robbing the person of his and her basic freedom to be oneself and of sharing this unique self openly with the world, without the constant fear of consequences "down the road"?  

Consider this, for example: Probably every young woman knows that there are a number of articles online with titles such as "How sexy photos can ruin your career", "How sexy photos online can cost you your job!" It is ridiculous how in this day and age young women are still judged for the simple fact that some of them decide to celebrate and preserve this temporary quality of youth and beauty in the form of a photoshoot. Young people, mostly women, end up being punished for having made aesthetic, beautiful photos in lingerie or in a bikini for the rest of their life. In fact, these consequences end up being longer-lasting than those of committing a real crime. Yes, that's right! If you have committed a crime you may have a non-conviction record that disappears automatically after two years, and no one sees that you ever had problems with the law, or, if you committed multiple crimes, or a very serious one, and get a criminal conviction, you can still expunge it after seven years, so that no one sees it from then on. On the other hand, if you create beautiful photos in lingerie in a photoshoot and then people appreciate and share these photos, they will be online forever and many people will judge you, despite the fact that these photos tell nothing about you as a person except, perhaps, that your are creative and confident. And, closer to the topic of sexuality, if a woman, for example is a stripper, and so she actually exchanges sexual services for money, no one will know ever that, because people are not allowed to take photos of such workers in strip clubs. Same idea with real prostitution, there is no way to know. But if you have been confident enough to take and share some aesthetic, artistic photos of yourself at any point in your life, and the photos turned out lovely enough for others to re-post and share these, you are supposed to have to "pay the price" for the rest of your life, as if for committing some despicable and unpardonable evil act. There are a number of articles online with titles such as "How your sexy photos can hurt your job prospects". 

Quite frankly though, in this modern day and age in which people practically live the virtual, online life as much as they live the physical, material one, the idea that one should only ever post certain photos, and not any others, sounds like severe restriction of freedom to be oneself and constant surveillance. This idea that only certain, staged and superficial photos and rehearsed official-sounding posts should be expected of a real, living human on his personal social-media accounts would have been relevant if people took photos in the same way that they did a few decades ago (i.e. only on very special occasions) before the age of social media and phones in everyone's pockets, the phones which have both a built-in digital camera and an online access to social all media accounts, so that the pictures taken with the latter could be immediately posted to the former. Given the way that social media is used now, being an ever-present and inseparable part of life, the expectation that people should constantly survey and scrutinize everything before they post it to make sure they are seen only in a certain light translates into a severe restriction of freedom to be oneself and to lead a normal, free, natural life. Instead, as a result of the outdated and unrealistic views on and expectations of one's virtual, online part of life, one is constantly forced to self-restrict and analyze and impression-manage, so that any normal real human who has one's own unique opinions, who relaxes with a beer, and tans in a bikini, and parties sometimes, when it comes to social media, ideally projects an image of an ever-working robot who never even takes off their business suite and always says "the right things" in the most official-sounding manner, with all the commas in place. Everyone is a human, and it is time to understand that the only difference between those who openly share a number of things, including some occasional lingerie photos and sometimes some strong, passionate opinions and those who look staged and "proper" in their limited staged photos, and have just a few meaningless reposts,  on their wall, is that the first type of person is open and confident and gives you a chance to glimpse their inner world as it is, while another type is extremely secretive, they are evidently flawed as all humans are, but their flaws will be totally unexpected, and even shocking (especially compared to the perfect staged facade) as the flaws of such secretive people cannot even be inferred at all, so with them one does not at all know what they are getting themselves into (as an employer of these people for example). So it is time to re-evaluate our attitudes and expectations in light of modern, digital ever-connected reality!

Photos by http://www.bilalhamdan.com/

From Uplifting Magic to Distressing Realism. J.K. Rowling's New Book..

From Uplifting Magic to Distressing Realism: The Author of Harry Potter Wrote a New Book

Maybe I am somewhat behind when it comes to the events on the literary scene, and maybe this blog post is not going to be any news to its reader, but I still want to mention that yesterday, at Chapters, the bookstore, I saw that the author of Harry Potter -- J.K. Rowling -- wrote a new book! Apparently (and unfortunately) there isn’t any magic in it though. It is a novel for adults about a small English city and its people. The name of the book is Casual Vacancy, and there is an impressive pyramid from these books on the second floor of the downtown Chapters store.

I wonder if this new novel is going to become as famous as Harry Potter, and something tells me that it will not even come close to the popularity of the latter. This new novel will definitely get (and already has got) some publicity; after all it's the author of Harry Potter (!) who wrote it. In my opinion though, it is precisely because seeing J.K. Rowling as the author of this new novel will inevitably remind its reader of the magic world of Harry Potter, that this new book will strike this reader as especially lacklustre and unimaginative. The bleak and depressing everyday life that the new novel describes will appear especially so in comparison with the exciting and magical world of Harry Potter.   

Rape, drug addiction, self-harm… these are all important topics, but there are so much reminders and information about this already. And all these-- the information, people's real stories, the news-- are much-needed and important in society. But is it really a positive thing that the one author who has previously managed to successfully distract an average stressed-out child and adult from their not-so-positive real world, has now, instead, turned to not only wallowing in the existing negativity of the real world, but to creating additional, made-up, fictional stories featuring all the real-life negativity in the most concentrated and impressively distressing way. 

It is a reality and a fact that many people who struggle with addiction and self-harm (all subjects of the new novel) have named "reading a 'Harry Potter' book" or "watching a 'Harry Potter' movie" as one of their most effective coping and escape strategies: The absorbing magical atmosphere so skillfully crafted by the author of "Harry Potter" has enabled many of these people to distract themselves and to mentally escape during the most difficult times of the day. Some positive magic is what most people are missing in their daily life and it is what helps when it comes to overcoming the issues that the new novel deals with. It is not the addition of fictional, made-up negativity on top of the pre-existing real-life abundance of it, that will produce a positive outcome as a result. This new novel is announced as one for adults, as opposed to Harry Potter, which has children and adolescents as its official intended audience. So then, it is implied, that adults, as opposed to children need an additional, fictional portion of doom and gloom, in their already quite dull and often even troubled lives, while children should be the only ones cuddled and cushioned in a cheerful and exciting magical world, until they too, become adults, upon which they too, will qualify for only negativity, "realism", problems, troubles issues, both real and fictional: no adventure and magic and happy endings from that point.

Of course, any author is free to write about anything he or she wants. But it is very wrong to claim that the fictional book that recreates the negative side of the real life and the troubles of the real life is somehow more beneficial to helping the sufferers of these troubles and negative realities, than the book that skillfully creates a fictional positive and exciting magical world and thus quite concretely helps the sufferers of the real life negativity and troubles to cope and emotionally rest and recharge.     

      

This Fall... 2012

Fall 2012.

This year, for the first time, I have found myself anticipating and enjoying fall. Could this be a sign that I am, myself, becoming older and calmer and more serene? 

This year, for the first time in my life, I couldn't wait for fall to arrive! Yet, all of my life, up until now, fall has always been my least favourite season: Its arrival inevitably brought with it feelings of sadness and boredom. In contrast to summer-- the time of fun-- in my mind, fall has always been associated with bleak, gloomy, monotonous days.

But this year, quite surprisingly, the arrival of fall has brought about completely different feelings! This fall has been all about a sense of peace and relief from the hot and fast-paced summer days. And I have been waiting for that! Finally, as the weather got cooler and the leaves began to turn various shades of red and yellow, I felt a huge sense of content and a kind of peaceful happiness..

Fall was always my grandmother's favourite season. She found summer tiring, even exhausting and always waited for the arrival of the temperate and subdued days of the fall... As a child, I could never understand her. (My favourite time of year, in those days, was late spring and summer.) In fact, I thought my grandmother had to be joking whenever she expressed her dislike for the summer season: How can one not enjoy the sun, the brightness and the energy that it brings? It is the time of year when one can finally cast all the heavy, warm layers of clothing and feel alive and free! My grandmother would reply that I could not understand her because I was still so young, and that, when I'd get older, I would most likely see how she felt. I told her that would never happen. 

This was many years ago, and my grandmother has since passed away. But, many years later, at the arrival of this fall, having caught myself for the first time anticipating and enjoying this season, I vividly recalled my grandmother's own particular appreciation of it. For the first time in my life, I now find myself feeling exactly the way my grandmother had described.. Now, I think I understand. Summer has its fun moments, but its heat and its general energy does get tiring after a while, and it is only now that the calm and the subdued ambience of fall has settled in that I feel truly happy and at peace with myself... Could this, then, be a sign that I am finally getting older, calmer, more temperate and poised?