Excess Potentials: Dependent Relationships
Idealizing the world is the other side of dissatisfaction. Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses will make many things seem better than they really are. As you know, when you think that there is something somewhere, when in fact there is not, excess potential is created.
To idealize means to overrate, to put on a pedestal, to worship, to create an idol. Love is the force that is creating and directing the world, and it is different from idealization because it remains passionless in essence, no matter how paradoxical this may sound. Un- conditional love is a feeling without the right of ownership, admiration without worship. In other words, it does not create a dependent relationship between the one that loves and his object of affection. This simple formula will help to determine where the feeling ends and idealization begins.
Imagine that you are walking around in a mountain valley that is overflowing with green plants, lustrous trees and flowers. You are admiring this wonderful landscape, taking in the aroma of this fresh, vibrant air and your soul is completely happy and peaceful. This is love.
Then you start picking the flowers: you tear them out from their beds and you crush them with your hands, without thinking that they are alive. Then the flowers slowly die. Later on it occurs to you that you could make perfume and cosmetics out of flowers, or that you could simply sell them to others, or maybe you decide to create a cult of flowers and worship them as idols. This is idealization, because in every case, dependent relationships are created between you and the object of your former love – the flowers. Nothing is left from the love that you once felt when you were simply enjoying the scenery, back there in the mountain valley. Can you feel the difference between these two situations?
So, love generates positive energy that carries you to a corresponding life track, while idealization creates excess potential, giving rise to the balancing forces that then strive to eliminate this excess potential. The action of the balancing forces is different in each case, but the result is the same. Basically, it can be characterized as “removing the halo”. This always happens, if you idealize something or someone. And, depending on the object and the level of idealization, you get a strong or a weak result – but it will always be a negative one. Thus, the balance will be restored.
If love turns into a dependent relationship, then an excess potential is unavoidable. The desire to have what you do not have will cre- ate a “change of energy pressure”. Depend- ent relationships are identified by set condi- tions like “if you do this... - then I will do this...” You can find plenty of similar ex- amples. “If you love me, then you’ll abandon everything and come away with me to the world’s end. If you won’t marry me, then it means that you don’t love me. If you praise me, then I’ll be friends with you. If you won’t give me your toy shovel, then I’ll kick you out of the sandbox.” And so on.
The balance is also disturbed when something is compared or contrasted to something else. “We are in this way, and they are in a different way!” For example, nation- al pride: comparing the nation – with what nations? The feeling of inferiority: comparing yourself – to whom? If something is put in contrast to something else, then the balancing forces will most definitely start eliminating the potential – positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. Because you are the one creating the potential, the action of these forces will first of all be directed against you. Action is directed either at “pulling apart” the contradicting parts, or at uniting them in a common agreement or confrontation.
All conflicts are based on comparisons and contradictions. At first, fundamental declara- tions are made: “They’re not like us.” Further on, it develops on its own. “They have more than us – we need to take it away from them.” “They have less than us – we must give it to them.” “They are worse than us – we must change them.” “They are better than us – we have to wrestle with ourselves.” “They act in a different way than we do – we need to do something about that.” All of these different comparisons will one way or another lead to a conflict – starting with personal, emotional discomfort and ending with wars and revolutions. The balancing forces will strive to eliminate the emerged contradiction with the help of reconciliation or confrontation. But, because in the latter case pendulums can always get a chunk of energy, they try to manipulate things so that a confrontation will take place.
And now, let’s look at some examples of idealizations and their consequences...